11th August

MCLAREN’S BLOG.

PORTPATRICK, SCOTLAND.

11^TH AUGUST 2013.

PILGRIM’S PROGRESS.

‘Will your anchor hold in the storms of life

when the clouds unfold their wings of strife.

When the strong tides lift and the cables strain

will your anchor drift or firm remain.

We have an anchor that keeps the soul,

steadfast and sure while the billows roll,

fastened to the rock which cannot move.

Grounded firm and deep in the saviours love.’

Hi me hearties, Pilgrim here, her Holiness has finally sat down again and given me a voice.( All ‘me’ that one.) By the way if I actually spoke, I would have a slightly nasal, sound to my voice, and if I was human I would have a broken nose, but more about that later.

I begin MY BLOG, with my favourite hymn, and it has certainly been appropriate these last few days or so. At times it’s been so windy, we haven’t been able to move, when we were in Stranraer, the Captain had to hold me down to the mooring with extra rope, so choppy were the sea conditions, and that was in harbour.

We have also been battling against wind on tide. ( Her Holiness doesn’t know what that means. She don’t speak ‘boaty speak’ like me and the Captain. She just says things like ‘Blimey it’s a bit lumpy,’ when the sea is rough. But the Captain and I know when it’s a North-East wind going against the tide.)

I’ve had the most marvellous time on this Pilgrimage. I’ve heard seals singing at Holy Island, since coming North I’ve seen the most amazingly huge Jelly Fish swimming so close to my hull,  I’ve sailed across Loch Ness ( Yes under Canvas) sailed into Holy Celtic places, the way the early Celtic missionaries did, sailed up the Caledonian Canal, with the posh boats.

Actually, this is where I put up with ‘boaty discrimination’, from other boats and their owners. This is because I am quite big, made of metal and have a huge…….huge………huge, belligerent bowsprit. (For those who don’t know what a bowsprit it’s a huge feature on the front of boats that people can stand on. Think Kate Winslet and Leanardo and ‘I’m Flying’……that’s a bowsprit.)

Mine is huge, metal, slightly rusty, (although the captain has put anti-rust paint on.) Well, on the Caledonian Canal, right from the very beginning I was met with derision, I could see boat owners and the actual boats thinking ‘Please don’t put that thing next to me.’ I would enter the lock chamber full of the love of Jesus, singing ‘Does your anchor hold’, and get looks as if I was a punk rocker, walking into the posh enclosure at the Derby. Well, I could say that Jesus loves you even if you do look like something lethal that could smash every boat within the lock. But no, I say to the ‘You shouldn’t stereotype boast like that. I may look like something, ugly but I’m loved and was blessed by the Bishop of Rochester, I have visited Holy sites, I’m going to visit the Buddhist monks and nuns on Holy Isle.

JEANETTE. Hang on we didn’t know we were going to Holy Isle when we were on the Caledonian Canal.

PILGRIM: Do you mind this is my blog. Why don’t you do something useful, like cook a meal for once.

Right that told her Holiness.

Anyway, there was one group, who made her Holiness very angry. A Skipper, had given all his crew jobs to do, to get their boat through the locks. One was given, the job of holding a fender, in front of my bowsprit, in case I got too close. Her Holiness, tried smiling at him, but all he did was give grim looks my way. This really annoyed her, all the way up the locks I could see her…….its like she was really quite protective of me.

But there was an incident on the Crinan Canal, when I thought this Pilgrimage had come to an end. On these Locks Jeanette, was ashore attending Lock gates, filling the Lock chamber, while Chris was in on board. We were going up the Locks, we had gone through the first Lock, without incident. But on the second Lock, Her Holiness had accidently let the water in too fast forgetting how heavy I am. (She is used to Narrow Boats which are lighter.)

The water gushed into the Lock chamber, the Captain couldn’t hold the ropes because of the surge of water, so the conversation went something like this.

CAPTAIN: Jeanette get the ropes……….shut the puddles……get a rope…..shut the paddle.

Her Holiness floundered around, not knowing which one to do first.

In the end she did decide to close the paddles.

CAPTAIN: Jeanette…….JEANETTE (Sounding anxious and angry.)

I was heading…..or my bowsprit was heading for the Lock gates.

PILGRIM: Oh, no,……….I’m gonna crash! I’m Gonna crash.  I’M GONNA ……..BOOM, BOOM.

I had hit the lock gates.

Her Holiness was fighting back tears. Chris was anxious and angry.

CAPTAIN: JEANETTE, JUST GET A ROPE WILL YOU!!!!!

It was at this point that Her Holiness got a rope, reeled it up made it neat, but then she lifted it up, and actually aimed it at him.

I MEAN CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!!!

HER HOLINESS: Right, there’s a rope, this is the last time I ever do anything with you again, in future I want relaxing holidays!!!!!!

The rest of the trip up the locks was done more carefully……….but I have to say more silently.

The captain would try and make conversation, but there was no reply, from Her Holiness. After Her Holiness, had chatted, with a women at one of the Locks for quire some time, the captain tried to make conversation.

CAPTAIN: You and that  woman were having an animated discussion, what were you talking about.

HER HOLINESS: Nothing.

Later.

CAPTAIN: Right time to moor up, this would be a good place to moor up, what do you think.

HER HOLINESS: I couldn’t care less.

They moor up, when I’m tied up, she just walks off. It’s like that for a few hours, they manage to go shopping, the meal that evening is eaten in silence, she’s outside, he’s inside. Then he walks off.

It goes on and on…..threats of going home……honestly.

But then I said to them, hang on doesn’t the good book say do not let the sun go down on your anger. Come on guys make it up, this is a wonderful trip, don’t ruin it because of a couple of mishaps, one of them being a bent bowsprit…….but I’m forgiving, I move on.

HER HOLINESS: No, you didn’t. From what I remember, we both apologised. Talked about the positive aspects of the trip, and decided to put it behind us, and look forward to the places we would be going. We both agreed this was a chance of a lifetime, something we have both been wanting to do for a long time, and make the best of the rest of the trip……although we still had challenges ahead. I do feel guilty about the bowsprit, I must say. I like the fact that you look like a boat made in the bowls of hell, but that you are called Pilgrim.

Right, how about , you and I sing the chorus, of my favourite hymn.

Here we go:

We have an anchor that keeps the soul,

 steadfast and sure while the billows roll,

fastened to the rock, which cannot move,

grounded firm and deep in the saviours love.

PILGRIM: I must say Vicar, I would do anything to attend one of your marriage preparation courses.