Vicar's blog 19th August

McLARENS BLOG MONDAY 19^TH AUGUST 2013.

TRWYN PORTH DINLLAEN, WALES.

This trip has certainly been full of challenges, spending three months living in a confined space, me having to learn basic sailing skills, Chris and I taking Pilgrim through locks on the Crinan Canal, sailing in different sea conditions. But we reached our hardest challenge, when we left Isle of Man, Port Erin, to make for HolyHead Wales, we left at 7.50am and were still sailing through the night……..this was meant to be a days sailing!!!!!!

But the sea was choppy, a South West wind, Force 5-7, visibility poor. We fought the force of the sea all day, as it was getting near dusk we thought we could see our destination, then it got dark. Pilgrim was riding the waves which swept over her bow, and then would come crashing against the wheelhouse, we would be clinging on, with the weight of our bodies against the way the boat was swaying. I became more frightened…….as it got dark and later, I just curled up and started crying. There was no harbour near us we just had to keep going…….even though the sea was not taking us anywhere. I turned my back to the windows I couldn’t bear to see the height of the waves and Pilgrim being battered by the sea. I reached a black moment when Chris put a safety harness to our life jackets. I was in this state for many hours. Then I looked at Chris and knew he was ‘rooting for me’ but he was actually in so many ways alone.

At some point I pulled myself together, I remember looking at the clock on my mobile at about 1.30am, I think it was about that time that I became a crewmember again, and started telling Chris what I could see while he did the co-ordinates to plan a course. Eventually we did begin to see lights in the distance, although it took hours to see the lights become towns.

We finally sailed into an anchorage at six o’clock in the morning, just as it was getting light. We had arrived in Anglesey near the Menai Straits.

Despite the fact that we had been up all night we were up drinking tea at eight-thirty next morning. The sun was shining, we decided to have a day’s rest. Throughout the trip, Chris has tried fishing with a line, he decided to get the line, after seeing what was movement on the water, which was definitely fish, he quickly retrieved his line from the cabin and caught us five mackerel, which made a wonderful supper.

Later that afternoon, we sailed along the Menai Straits, into Caernafon. When we walked around the town it was lovely to hear people speaking welsh.

On Sunday morning (18^th) Chris and I didn’t get to visit a church, but we did say Morning Prayer.  We thought it appropriate that we read Marks account of Jesus calming the storm. (Mark 5. 35-41) I must admit that I related in a way I never have before, to the disciples saying to Jesus ‘Don’t you care that we drown.’

When Chris and I were riding the waves in the Irish Sea that night I did say to Chris, ‘At what point do you call the Coastguard.’ He responded by saying, ‘ I know what you mean, but that is a last resort.’ As a sailor, he knew he had to rely on his own skills to get through, and he had the confidence. It was my own lack of experience as a sailor that made me fearful. After talking to other people we have met in Marinas our experience was not unique. And is all part of the challenge and risk of sailing.

I have mentioned the word ‘risk’ in this blog a number of times. Risk was part of this trip, even before we set sail. It was a risk to buy a boat that had been sitting in dry dock for eight years. It was a risk to keep working on Pilgrim making her seaworthy, when we were let down by those we had employed to work on her, it was a risk to continue with the project when we were the victims of ‘boatyard politics.’ After a period of work not going ahead, we decided on a day off, to do some work on her anyway, only to get a phone call as we were replacing paneling, from Chris’ brother to inform us his Father had died.

Two days before we were due to be blessed by the Bishop of Rochester, the mast went up. The night before we were due to meet the Bishop, we were sailing Pilgrim down to Hoo Ness Marina, which is where we were due to meet family, friends and members of our Church, for the blessing.

At times I would want to give up, even days before we were due to set sail, I was texting Chris full of doubt as to whether we would actually ever be going to sea.  It was only Chris’ tenacity and faith in the Project, which made it happen.

RISK
RISK
RISK

Risk, so often in life we try to avoid it. Risk makes us fearful, unsure of ourselves. Risk means we may fail, be laughed at. Risk may leave us feeling stupid. Risk takes us out of our comfort zone.

Some years ago Chris and I came across a poem by William Arthur Ward, we have both pinned it above our desk, and has continued to inspire us since we first heard it.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach for another is to risk involvement.

To expose your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To believe is to risk despair.

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The people who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing, are nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.

Chained by their attitudes they are slaves; they have forfeited their freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

The Quakers talk about living the faith journey ‘adventurously,’ adventures can be risky, that’s what makes them exciting. But as Christians we have a God who is constantly with us, and so we shouldn’t fear the risk of the unknown.

As I write this I am aware of a slight irony, in that because of being taken off course and ending up in a part of Wales that we never intended to visit and have got behind schedule. But I do know that God has blessed us on this Pilgrimage, he brought us through the rough passage of Wednesday night and we will trust him in the final two weeks of our trip, we don’t know the details of our final destination at present. We are hoping the weather, winds, tides, will allow us to make headway.

But I will say this, in the past I’ve waxed lyrical about the spirituality of sailing,……………but the reality is very different!

One of the books Chris and I brought with us was At Sea with God, written by Margaret Silf. A book in which the parallels of sailing and spirituality are explored. I found this wonderful passage, which really spoke to me.

‘Perhaps the destination is nothing more, or less, than the ocean of God’s love with its potential to transform us from the partialness of who we are now into the fullness of all creation into which we are being called. To live a life of faith is to trust the journey and to shape our choices in favour of the spiral that leads to life.’